Copyright Hecate Press, English Department 1992.
Hecate. St. Lucia: 1992. Vol. 18, Iss. 1; pg. 105.
by Alison Lambert When I’m writing I’m not Mills and Booning in his arms When I’m writing I’m not learning 30 ways to please a man When I’m writing I’m not dreaming up new ways with chicken When I’m writing I’m not colour co-ordinating my wardrobe When I’m writing I’m not trying to hold my tummy in When I’m writing I’m not raising model children When I’m writing I’m not taking his son to football training When I’m writing I’m not decorating his weekend When I’m writing I’m not getting my legs waxed When I’m writing I’m not pretending to be 20 years younger When I’m writing I’m not apologising for being 20 years older When I’m writing I’m not keeping him off the streets When I’m writing I’m not distributing Amway When I’m writing I’m not vacuuming the shag pile carpet When I’m writing I’m not hoping he’ll phone When I’m writing I’m not feeling guilty about the washing up When I’m writing I’m not cooking apricot barramundi caprice for his boss When I’m writing I’m not worried if the grey is showing When I’m writing I’m not listening to some man talk sexist crap When I’m writing I’m not worried if I haven’t washed my hair When I’m writing I’m not wishing my tits were like hers When I’m writing I’m not going to the shops – again When I’m writing I’m not thrilled that he’d kill me if he knew When I’m writing I’m not even aware that I’m small When I’m writing I’m not hanging back while he speaks When I’m writing I’m not in tears if he doesn’t understand When I’m writing I’m not pretending it’s fantastic if it’s not When I’m writing I’m not apologising for having my period When I’m writing I’m not apologising for not having my period When I’m writing I’m not surviving on two lettuce leaves and a banana When I’m writing I’m not at the doctor’s for tranquillisers When I’m writing I’m not getting my beauty sleep When I’m writing I’m not Mrs Somebody When I’m writing I’m not anxious that he won’t like it When I’m writing I’m not serving everyone else first When I’m writing I’m not a nice little woman, not at all ———— Reproduced from online source without permission, but with no ill intent. I merely wish to share something awesome discovered amidst essay research. I think having looked at the writings of Joanna Russ, read several discussions around the publication of female writers and related difficulties, that this piece (like Russ’ work) remains scarily relevant today, in 2011.